Sunday, February 17, 2008

The Kissing Disease

I'd like to start out with a song about a little virus I may have picked up...

Mononucleosis is the kissing disease.
It's very hard to shake it, but you get it with ease.
So if you're really sweet sixteen and never been kissed,
How come you're on the mononucleosis list?

Will make you very sick,
So baby, get your Blue Cross card
And kiss me quick.

Mononucleosis was discovered one day
By a very famous scientist the following way:
He grabbed his lab assistant, and when she gave a lurch,
He whispered, "Cool it, baby, we're just doing research."

Will give you quite a scare,
But baby, come and kiss me,
We've got Medicare.

Mononucleosis is contagious, but nice.
Once I knew a fella who contracted it twice.
First he kissed his girlfriend and endangered his life,
And while he was recovering, he kissed his wife.

Yes that's the diagnosis,
It's the kissing disease,
So baby, come as close as
You wish or you please.
'Cause mononucleosis
Will raise your temperature,
So let's continue kissing till they find the cure

Yes, It is true that I have been diagnosed with "the kissing disease", also known as Mononucleosis (Mono). Last weekend I became very sick with the worst sore throat I have ever had, along with migranes, and absolutely no energy to do anything. I was miserable. Monday I slept literally all day...and I really do mean ALL day. Tuesday It became so bad that my Aunt Barb ended up picking me up and taking me to numerous places who kept refusing my insurance until we found a doctor who would see me. Finally, about 6 hours later, Taylor and I were in a doctor's office for my appointment. They tested me to strep throat thinking it was that, but it came back negative. They were going to just give me some antibiotics anyway just to heal the throat, but wanted to test me for mono just in case because taking antibiotics while having mono gives you a terrible rash all over. So, they took my blood, tested it, and what do you came back positive. The doctor seemed very nonchalant about the whole situation, but Taylor was mildly freaked out and scared of me and I was in so much shock that I was just laughing. Mono is the kissing disease because it can only be passed to someone by saliva. Of course now the infamous question that everyone asks is "Who have you been kissing??". Well after much research and investigation, we have found the source of the problem....One of the boys I kissed in the past 6 weeks was in the pre-symptomatic stages of mono and must have passed it to me. Since then, I had no idea that I had it until a week ago, which means I have contaminated some fine young men myself. I guess mono just gets passed on and passed on. There's no stoppin' it. Well, I will be all well and better again in a mere 6 weeks, but missing a week of school will take at least 3 weeks to catch up from. It's pretty stressful. But there's a lesson to be learned here--Ask people if they have mono before you kiss them.

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