Sunday, November 22, 2009

The Big Picture.

I have learned that balance in one's life is crucial. Of late I have been trying to be a little more social. I took a jump, head first, into a social life. It was WAY too much too soon. I have been basically 100% anti-social this entire semester, so hanging out on weekdays was ridiculous. Especially more than one weekday in a row. Let me just say BAD IDEA. It was so fun, but it really messed me up for school. Even though it was just 2 days I realized how far I got behind when I didn't do my homework all night. When I realized that it was affecting my school work I decided to stop, but then my mind got to thinking. What is life if I don't interact with others? (Besides my school friends - whom are awesome and amazing and I would die without because they make my life so much more fun and interesting and make me less stressed about homework. Especially Jessica.) Without a "social life" or at least interacting with other people - I am nothing. I believe it is important to educate myself and gain knowledge while I am on Earth and I am definitely a very motivated, ambitious person, but I don't want to miss out on things that I have come to realize are more important. Not necessarily more important, but things you need in life. It is hard to explain. It's like when someone says, "You need to look at the big picture." I am trying to do that, but it confusing me more and more. Is the big picture that I focus on school and work towards a wonderful and successful career? Or is the big picture being surrounded by people I love, having friends, dating, and eventually having a family? To me, they are both very important aspects of life. They are both the big picture. But you also can't deny that the most important thing on the Earth is to find your soul mate. Having a family is really why we are here. But on the other hand, I don't want to be one of the Utah weirdo Mormon girls who just wants to get married and have a family - that's not me. I don't even want to get married right now. But being in Utah makes me think about these kind of things. It is so strange. I've been so conflicted about this lately. My solution is to just even out my time between the two things - being social and working hard in school. However, a balance is going to be a lot harder than I expected. It's hard for me to put socializing at an equal priority of school. I don't know how it happened, but since starting the architecture program school has been #1. School has always been important, but now I have no problem putting it in front of EVERYTHING. I never even noticed until recently. I need to be more involved in my ward and in life in general. I need to exercise more. I need to be around my friends since I might only be in Utah for another year and a half. (Assuming I get into an awesome grad school that is out of state.) I need to be with my family since they are only going to be in Utah with me until May and then they're gone. I need to balance my life.

But really, what is the big picture?
Someone please enlighten me.

Also pictures from this week.

1 comment:

Beverly Rice said...

I totally understand your dilemma. AAAHHHH! Why does life have to be so hard? I struggled with these questions too when I was your age. It is not easy. At some point, you realize that it will only be by relying on the Lord and constantly seeking His guidance that you will know your path. When you do that, you have to be willing to submit your will to His. I remember when I did that. When I did, I was blessed beyond measure but it was not in my time frame. I was so lucky because I was given a wonderful son and daughter who brought so much joy into my life. I later had the opportunity to use my education and achieve my goals. The big picture is having the Lord by your side while you figure it all out. I love you!